Weird Smoking Laws

As increasingly states accept laws that forbid smoking in public, crushing the expects of cigar smokers with the ease of crushing a used cigarette, people everywhere are calling "foul," warning themselves from telling legislators to kiss their ash. The laws, to the avid cigar smoker, are avidly ludicrous.

But, ludicrous laws are a part of sophisticated culture. From a law in Denver that prohibits people from loaning vacuum cleaners to other residences, to a law in Wyoming that forbids people from taking photographs of rabbits during the month of June, many rules and regulations simply make no sense. There is even a law in Champaign, Illinois that makes it illegal for someone to pee in the mouth of their nearby neighbor, certainly ruining the weekend plans of countless Midwest citizens.

It was only a matter of time before this law insanity filtered into the tobacco industry. Recently, they have become more obvious, branding our world with a "No Smoking" sign. Not limited to any one state, or any one country, bizarre smoking laws can be found approximately anywhere.

Australia: Australia has a law that bans children from buying cigars or cigarettes. This is not particularly odd as many countries have similar regulations. However, Australia be obvious because children, though they can not purchase tobacco, are lawfully allowed to consume it. Providing they get an adult to buy it for them, Australian children are freely allowed to smoke a cigar in front of a policeman, a parent, a teacher, or even a kangaroo.

New Orleans, Louisiana: In a city known for guilty enjoyments - home to everything from Mardi Gras to profligate casinos - cigar and cigarette smoking are a bit under control. New Orleans possesses a law that prohibits anyone participating in a carnival or parade to use tobacco products while doing so. In addition to this, a "No Smoking" sign must be visibly attached to all parade floats, not that any bystanders, with troves of close by women attempting to get beads, are really alert.

Zion, Illinois: Just when you think you have heard it all in look upon to rules, there is a law in Zion that forbid owners from giving a lit cigar to any of their domestic animals. While the law specially names dogs and cats, it certainly applies to any kind of pet: hamster, gerbil, and goldfish. None of these pets are allowed to smoke cigars, no matter how much they ask for and plead.

France: Colonel Mustard, in the tank Room, with an ashtray. That's right, an ashtray. In France, ashtrays are considered lethal weapons. Maybe this is because people can use ashtrays to strike others, or maybe it's because ashtrays are known to prey on unwary victims, jumping them in passages and blinding them with a cloud of dust. But the most likely reason is simply because it's France. A nation reputed for obedience, some people may think the citizens of France are homicidally threatened by the cast from The Brady group. We do hear that Marcia's packing.

New Jersey: While a sign reading "Do Not Feed the Animals" is regular in many zoos, New Jersey takes this notion one step further. Passing a law that forbids people from giving local zoo animals cigars or whiskey, the creatures in this imprisonment visibly have no fun. But, being that whiskey is the only liquid specifically named, it leads one to speculate if providing the animals with a cold beer would be equally frowned upon. If not, perhaps the animals would be capable to smoke a cigar on occasion. Ya know, communally.

South Bend, Indiana: Keeping with the animal kingdom theme, in South Bend it is against the law to make a monkey smoke a cigarette. This law goes back to 1924 when a monkey was found culpable of the crime of smoking a cigarette and forced to pay a fine of 25 dollars, as well as trial costs. We are not certain what happened when the monkey, recently out of work, was not able to arise with the money. Maybe, he was forbidden from partaking in any form of Evolution.

Newport, Rhode Island: Resting on the East Coast, Newport has a law that     forbids people from smoking a pipe after sundown. Any other time is well, but once the sundown's, this is one law the avid tobacco lover can not put in his pipe and smoke.

Marceline, Missouri: In this Missouri town, minors are permitted to purchase rolling papers and tobacco, but they are prohibited to purchase lighters. If only, if only, there was a way to obtain matches easily, maybe from a local restaurant or café. perhaps in a perfect world, the ability to find matches would appear.

Obviously, this world have a huge number of laws that are founded with about as much cause as turning down a million dollars or volunteering to stay on the Titanic. But, the cigar smoker can relax assured that it is not just their luxury that falls victim to this madness. These kinds of laws are all over, from keeping out humming to saying its illegal to drive in a housecoat, these types of rules put the word "awful" in the word "lawful." And, they make one wonder if more laws can be approved, maybe a rule that replaces every cigarette with its superior: a cigar.